Monday, January 29, 2007

things have been bad enough~

haiz~

severely lacking in money~

=/

i wonder if i ever have any money to do any new year shopping~

i feel sad~

it is sad that when new year comes~

one has no new clothes~

haiz~

in the past~

when ever its the new year~

the whole family will go out shopping~

ending trip with a bill of abt 1k~

haiz~

forget it~

it wun come back~

argh!

times are ever changing~

there are good~

there are bad~

but why am i always the one in the bad times?

since childhood~

i've been abused like no one's business~

everyday is bloodshed~

i ended up committing suicide when i was in primary 6~

ppl ask~

why did u commit suicide at such a young age?

my reply was~

"i had enough of my dad~

i lived in great stress throughout my entire life~

Everyday was bloodshed~

I was beaten everyday~

at the same spot~

at the same place~

during my primary sch days~

i was forced to continure to study~

even though i was in the top ten within the class~

but i never did study~

I HATED MY DAD~

I played all day~

but my grades never fell~

I'm still top ten~

what more does he want with me?

then there comes the PSLE~

EACH AND EVERY DAY HE STRESSES MORE AND MORE ON ME~

Until one incident~

I was in the bathroom having my shower~

i knew that i was in there for abt 1 hr already~

HE CAME AND KNOCKED ON MY DOOR AND ASKED ME TO GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM~

AND WHEN I NEVER CAME OUT 15 MINS LATER~

HE CAME BANGING ON THE DOOR SAYING THAT IF HE DIDN'T KILL ME TODAY HE WON'T HAVE THE SURNAME OF TEO~

i brokedown immediately~

then went to control it~

coz i know if he sees me crying~

It'll be worse~

5 MINS LATER I WENT OUT OF THE BATHROOM~

HE STOOD OUTSIDE HOLDING A CANE~

AND THE MOMENT HE SEES ME~HE HIT ME~

THE CANE HIT EVERY WHERE THAT IS VISIBLE~

I RAN EVERYWHERE WITHIN THE TWO STOREY HSE~

BUT I STILL GOT BEATEN UP~

MY MUM TRIED TO STOP HIM~BUT GOT BEATEN UP ALSO ~

I TOLD MY MUM TO NOT STOP HIM~

I DUN WAN HER TO GET BEATEN UP COZ OF ME~

THEN I FINALLY RAN BACK INTO THE BATHROOM LOCKED THE DOOR AND HID~

I SAW THE KEY INSIDE WITH ME~

AND I WAS RELEIVED FOR A MOMENT~

COZ THE NEXT SECOND~

THE BANGED ON THE DOOR ASKING ME TO OPEN THE DOOR FOR HIM TO CONTINUE BEATING ME~

AND HE SAID THAT IF I WUN OPEN UP~

LATER WHEN I COME OUT~HE’LL CONTINUE HITTING ME~

I CRIED HELL LOT~

BUT WHO CAN SAVE ME?

NO ONE~

THEN I SAW THE PENKNIFE IN THE PLASTIC DRAWER~

I TOOK IT UP~

SLIT MY WRIST~

THEN SUBMERGED MY WRIST IN WATER~

My mum had a spare key~

she opened up the door after my dad went out~

and she saw me in the middle of a blood pool~

she quickly took me out and bandaged me~"

_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 11:22:00 pm__


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Sunday, January 21, 2007

woke up 9.30am today~

late!!!!

zzz~

rushed with my clothes and makeup~

plus my hair~

>_<

then I board bus go home (bedok)~

reached there abt 11+am~

when i reached home my sis was going out~

lolx~

baggy clothes with pink shoes~

omg~

poor taste~

=x

then i proceed to find my VK costume~

then when i finally got to it~

i realised sth~

my dearest mum nv wash the entire VK costume~

she only washed the pants~

much to my dismay~

i have to wear it~ O_O

then my mum start to break news~

"We have declared bankruptcy~ It will come into effect in February~"

i felt super sad~

everything went to crumbles~

it was never good to be rich to start with~

haiz~

now~

we have to move out of that house~

I can no longer study if i even want to~

My life fell to pieces~

everything is in shambles~

i dunno what i can do~

i dunno what to do~

I'm at a lost~

i feel super depressed~

then after that i rushed to the meeting with the VK cosplay group~

then i went to my fren's bdae party at marina (steamboat)~

all the while i was super hyper and i kept smiling and laughing~

know the reason why?

coz i what to forget what happened~

i want to forget what my mum told me just now~

but~

when the gathering ended~

i felt lost again~

I'm still the same old lonely person i am before~

no one can help me anything~

I can't smile anymore~

I can't laugh anymore~

I'm just a doll without life~

_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 12:36:00 am__


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Friday, January 19, 2007

recently my mum told me something~

'someone sued us bankruptcy~'

haiz~

"we have to move outta this house soon"

have to look or house le~

dad's business failed~

huge debts incurred~

so we have to pack things~

move and go~

haiz~

i dunno what to do le~

super depressed~

super stressed~

headache~

haiz~

ARGHHHHH!!!!!!

_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 4:23:00 pm__


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Sunday, January 14, 2007

weeeee~

been feeling super good since i quit~ although its like 2 days?

hehe~

hmm~

needa return the unifroms~

and get my pay~

and btw~

during the audition~

the person kept complimenting me~

"First~

before i start the audition~

Are you pretty?

do you think that you are pretty?

*i think awhile then slowly nods*

okie~ thank you and welcome~

coz i have decided to enlist you as our model~

being a model is abt confidence and your poseur~

kept saying that I'm really very pretty~

being a 'maid' waitress is a waste~

you're destined to be in this line~

but of course~

your bf and many others will object to you being in the entertainment line~

but yeah~

i would like to ask you to join us very much~

coz with your looks its impossible to not be able to market you out~

but first thing first~

when you agree to be our model~

we will issue comm cards~

which is a license to the models~

it has your name, your height your weight and your vital stats~

our company name will also be printed on it~

and then~ we'll compile everything into a cd-rom for you~

the above mentioned are all free~

each comm card costs 8 dollars~

and we're printing out 1.6k worth of comm cards for you~

it's free~

up till this point~

coz b4 you print the com cards~

you'll have to have a makeover~

this make over will include 3 images of you~

which is 3 different makeovers~

it will cost $480~

this we cannot help you pay~

coz the personals we enlisted to help with the make over is not from our company~

we enlisted help from the hairstylist and photographers from Mediacorp to help with this~

do you find this price to be okay?~

and of course we'll try our very best for get back this amt from the very first mth~

coz when we're enlisting you as our model~

we also have to fork out 1.6k for your comm cards~

we would also like to earn it back as fast as we could~

and we're talking abt fast~

coz our personals in our campany are fast workers~

yeah?~

you wanna pay by cash or nets?

if you wanna pay by cash~

I'm gonna kill you~

lolx~"

then i say i dun have money with me right now~

i lost everything~

coz i lost my wallet~

"oh okay~

so can you think of any ways to come up with a partial sum?~

if other people ask me to do this~

frankly i wun do it~

but if its you~

i'll gladly do it for you~

so that it's easier for you~

but we'll be doing a photoshoot also~

tell me are you afraid of studios and cameras?~

*i said no coz frankly i'm used to it~ =_= (performance since primary 2 up till now~ how possibly can i be cam-shy and studio scared)*

okie that's good to hear~

coz many told me that they are not scared~

but when they step into the studio~

they are frightened~

they become stiff~

but dun worry we'll smlowly guid them~"

okie done~

this is what i heard during the 1+ hr audition at IMI Pte Ltd~

Situated at Parkmall~

#10-05~

_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 10:09:00 am__


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Friday, January 12, 2007

The boss aka Floyd Messaged me~

"Kelly have you made a decision? If u've decided to quit, come down and collect ur pay and bring ur costumes alon too. If not i need u. Let me know asap."

it seems that quit number of maids quited~

thanks to our manager~

and the management~

super Fucked up Managing of the cafe~

zzzz~

I wonder if the Manager is still there~

coz I'm definitely not working if the manager is still there~

although she's Floyd's GF~

see how things goes?

and weee~

later i'm going for a Model Audition~

see if i can make it~

>_<

then if cannot then maybe should find a job as a game master?

or i stay at the cafe?

any suggestions?

_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 10:08:00 am__


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